Ear Ear

Bloody ear infection got worse, I ended up phoning my boyfriend and dragging him from the pub (again), screaming in pain and all he could do was ask, "what can I do?" (although he did do some very nice breathing technique focusing stuff).  I just screamed at him to phone the bloody doctor and get me some goddamn fuck off huge painkillers, which surprisingly he did. 
I have now realised I am a complete lightweight when it comes to pain, although strangely if it self inflicted I kinda like it. I thought about why that is and all I can come up with is the old "control" card.  Self inflicted pain is something I have control over.  Random ear pain (which was on a par with infected tooth pain) is not something I can control.  The plus point is that the antibiotics from the ear infection have finally caught up with my digestive system and so the unwanted weight gain is leaping off in pounds - yeay!
Because I am such a lightweight with the pain I had no intention of an hour journey down the mountain to see my psychiatrist, in favour of my duvet and House m.d. repeats (season 4, v.good).  Instead, he phoned me and we had a quick chat about how I was (ok mostly, more stable but still some mood swings) and I told him the Zyprexa was helping mood-wise but not weight wise.  So we are upping the Lamotrigine and cutting down the Zyprexa and will discuss next week the alternatives (provided the insurance will pay for the different drugs). I didn't quite get round to telling him that I had gone cold turkey on the Zyprexa and to make up for the resulting insomnia I had been popping the old 100mg Seroquel.  (Slept until 11.30 a,m, today - loooooverleeeyyyy!)
really should get back to real work soon, I am getting used to this life of unemployment as ski school have no work for me right now until Monday, so that's 2 weeks money I have lost out on. Which means I will probably be back to the old scrimping and saving, trying to get my bills paid and having no money for the rest of the month.