Christmas

So as per my usual behaviour, the Christmas presents I have been meaning to send since last December, were posted today.
And as usual, I feel resentful at the comments I will get spoken behind my back as to why they are late.
So why are they late? Because when I made them (oh yes, they are handmade) and packed them up, I had no money to post them, favouring my medical insurance and food. And then there was the time factor - when I got paid once my bills had gone out I still had no money and was right into the ski season, too busy to get to the post office at the opening times.  I missed many recorded letters because of not being able to pick them up from the post office which proves my point.
So where do I go from here.  Well, I've posted the parcel. Step one. Step two, maybe some form of thankyou (my sister in law is one for doing what is right and polite even if my brother is screaming obscenities about me behind my back). But my biggest worry is that my brother might try to contact me and I am not ready for that. It will bring up the hurt of comments he has made about me so cruelly. An I wanted a psychiatrist monitored phone call, which my brother isn't prepared to do for me.  He would rather sort out my feelings myself and then contact him.  No way.