Nightmares

Back with a vengeance and about the usual - me chasing someone and them dropping a bombshell on me that I just won't accept.  Woke up at the 3 a.m. slot, crying and feeling distressed.
Really hard to motivate myself today, but I managed to get myself to go to the post office and for a quick cup of tea to see my friend S, who was working, so I give myself a pat on the back for that.  I came home and busied myself with the housework because if I didn't busy myself with something then I would have fallen apart.  I am now curled up on the sofa watching trash TV but feel on edge so have taken my Zyprexa early instead of at bedtime.
I'm a bit peed off with this Zyprexa.  I have put on 12 kilos since taking it and it just won't shift.  And yet the Wellbutrin is meant to make you lose weight, so I thought they would cancel each other out.  The Zyprexa is winning. so I have decided (after my failed attempt at a crash diet this week) that I will go on a detox, then maybe I will stick to it.  This is closely followed by a week's lemonade diet favoured by Beyonce and one of my idols, Cameron Diaz. and they both look amazing.
Just want to get back in shape, particularly as I only have 2 more aerobics classes to teach before the Christmas break and World Cup Ski race in town.  But I will be starting to teach aquarobics so I think I can use the hotel pool where this will be held.
Wish me luck............

Baby, did you forget to take your meds.....?

Went to the apotheke (chemist) today to pick up a new prescription for Zyprexa. I was listening to my psychiatrist the other day but have forgotten - I think this will replace the Wellbutrin - ah well, will find out soon enough.

Anyway, scary chemist lady (not the nice lady owner) brought out a sheaf of papers of info about all the medications I have. She asked me which ones I have (so I listed the 7 or so and whether they are in reserve/daily etc. while she looked disapprovingly at me) and then proceeded to tell me about all the interactions between them, including Effexor and Wellbutrin which according to her is not a good mix.

Hmm.

Funny, seems to have worked so far without any rashes, diabetes or brain haemorraghes or whatever they cause - pretty much everything judging by the leaflets - am guessing Big Pharma cover their arses by listing every condition imaginable (except Lupus, "it's never Lupus" - House M.D.)

So I stood there taking all this information in at the same time justifying why I am taking the medications that I take. Then the irritability set in - hang on a minute, isn't my Psychiatrist the expert and she someone with the equivalent of an NVQ in making TNT? I know which one I trust thankyou!

So apart from adding to my anxiety, irritability and general fear of her, I suppose it was quite sweet that she had my interests at heart and is clearly that bored between tourist seasons that she has time to look up the notes on the computer. And Buddha help me when I have a cold as they will only ever give me Paracetamol, (surely not the wisest medication for a wavering suicidal mental wreck?) which must take them ages to research. Even my Housedoctor was looking for something for a cold and gave up after page 4 of the contraindications for Lamictal.

So, J is on skin rash and cramp (presuming she means DVT) watch, just what he needs when he is recovering from an appendix operation. Although today he has been an absolute sweetie (which he is most of the time) by bringing me cups of tea and cooking dinner while I am a lazy arse watching Erin Brokovitches Amazing Women on Zone Reality.