Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Relationships and communication

Just not happening at the moment..  Tried talking to J last week and he turned everything I said back against me, he just won't listen to me trying to find a compromise.  He finally said he was depressed! I mean, it's not like I haven't noticed his bad moods and his tendency to go off by himself without me and his drinking in the pub at any opportunity. But I get frustrated as he is anti help from anybody and I believe as his girlfriend I should support him, which is hard seeing as I am useless anyway.  I have really tried to make an effort to not show my depression and it just means nothing.  If I keep being pushed away and he won't get professional help, what's the point - it's just dragging me down and so we end up in this endless cycle of misery. He's stopped telling me how he feels about me and it seems the only time he is interested is if he wants sex.
I brought up the possibility that maybe we should split up but he just replied with "where would you go, what would you do, where would you get the money" etc. so I know he still cares but like I said, it wouldn't be his concern then.
I feel stuck in the middle of something I can't get out of.
Health insurer still hassling me and the Swiss authorities are after me for money which I simply don't have. I still have medical bills to pay from 2009! Have emailed a solicitor but haven't heard anything back, no surprise there then.
Have also had to "sign on" as unemployed and have a target of applying for two jobs a week.  Problem is, there aren't any jobs at the moment and as I have a job for winter it's a bit of a pointless exercise.  But I have to do it otherwise I don't get any money, but knowing the Swiss system as I do, they will find any excuse not to pay me and as I have my health insurance premium to pay.....well.