Sunday, 18 April 2010

Diet Phase 2

Well I say phase 2 because every previous attempt at a diet has not been successful, but so far I have managed two days on normal food with normal eating habits and NO ALCOHOL.
It helps I have some "diet buddies" who are also munching the rabbit food and I SMS them daily with my progress and vice-versa.
On the medical bills front, the Sozialdienst have taken over negotiation with my health insurer and will basically tell them to pay my medical bills because they will only have to pay them anyway eventually.  So I may be able to get more medication and another psychiatrist appointment. Which I desperately need.
I am now unemployed until June and even then it's a bit unstable. I am trying to fill my days constructively and keeping myself busy, but the weeks without a routine are going to be hard to bear.  This is when I usually go a bit nuts and start thinking about self harm/suicide when it all gets too much.

Friday, 9 April 2010

Putting me down

I've just had to deal with a bunch of cunts.  Basically, I clean their chalet (or have been temporarily) and there were meant to be a couple of changeovers but this turned into being a lot more than what they originally said.  So instead of being a clean once in a while it became a clean each week with washing on top.
So I struggled.
Anyway, tried to sort out the money with these rich knobs and they still tried to talk it down despite me running around and bending over backwards (including a free clean) after which the woman owner had a go at me.
So thankyou Mrs L for making me feel small, worthless and not good enough.

Sunday, 4 April 2010


So, have found a solution to my fatness.  There are two diet options, the first being a diet of bread, butter and water (fibre, protein and water) which promises to make you be able to see your ribs and then you go back to a normal diet.  The other diet is the ABC I found on an anorexic website. It sounds pretty mch like my calorific intake anyway, but maybe I need to approach it differently for it to work. I know, I know, lectures about these diets being dangerous and the like, but you aren't living in my head and you don't see my disgusting body and the pile of clothes that I can't fit into (i.e. all of them). And I have to get control of something in my life seeing as everything else is crazy right now.
Work is busy again but I am beginning to lose my patience with the kids in ski school quite quickly which isn't like me, but it's the end of season.  Had fun today with my mate G, both sitting in the lift house shouting to everyone they were fucking cunts and should all fuck off home.  Slightly childish but satisfying.  Am fairly sure no-one heard us although we were shouting pretty loud.  Then had a Madchester rave to the radio.