My mood has been pretty stable of late and I have been feeling......well.........hopeful.
My unemployment status has not changed, but at my meeting in the unemployment office the other day, Frau S was really nice and helpful. Seeing as this is the third time I have attempted to be unemployed scum I found it quite a refreshing attitude. Mind you, my Psychiatrist had written her a letter - don't know what he wrote but it worked. Maybe she thought I was going to stab her or something...........
Anyway, she asked me if I was able to work full time and that if I wasn't that it wasn't a problem. The RAV (as it is known) expect you to travel some considerable distance for a job but she said if I had travelling time then I could work part time rather than stress myself out with working full time AND travelling. Wow - wasn't expecting that. I asked whether there was any option of retraining perhaps in computer skills and she suggested the ECDL course (which I want to do), but first she would look at my application pack (a dossier you send to employers) and take it from there, but that there was no problem in retraining so that I could be more integrated into work. WOW again! Also, she said if the unemployment benefit was not paid for any reason then I was to go to Social Services who would support me. All in all a very positive meeting and I came out of there feeling less pressurised as my job hunting has not been successful so far and I was getting worried that there would be nothing for summer.
At the same time I have been looking into costs for moving back to England. Not cheap, but I need to know how much it would be so I can save up. My biggest worry is getting my cat back to the UK and I feel sick at the thought of even getting him transported, he will be so scared. (He's curled up on the bed at the moment looking all sleepy and cute).
J has not been too annoying, apart from Sunday again he had no food so I snapped at him and then he told me not to worry about it, he would get some somewhere - like where, I said? So I fed him again but I think he got the hint when I ranted at him to get himself organised. Yep, he'd been paragliding again. Then his first quarter tax bill came through for about 3000chf so he is sulking. Anyway, I took half my money back from his tax account because I need it, and the health insurance money from his bank account. I did tell him (and he knows I have access to his bank account through internet banking or I would never get it back) and really, there wasn't anything he could say or do about it. Like I said, I am prioritising ME now.
It looks like my health insurance problem is progressing. My social worker phoned me last week and said that insurer 2 would pay the money back, but to me and not to insurer 1. I said this wasn't acceptable as I did not want to be in control of all that money and that it means insurer 2 absolves responsibility by paying it back to me instead of to insurer 1. Then today I have had an account status sent through by insurer 1 saying they owe my boyfriend the balance of 2009. Not totally sure what's gone on but it looks a bit strange. Must speak to Frau G about it when I meet her next week. Just can't wait for the mess to be over.
Been keeping myself busy by reading a lot of mental health blogs and there are some harrowing stories. My heart goes out to you all as I have been there and know how hard it is. Luckily I am in a better place at the moment and holding on to that, but I know at other times I will go back to being in the depths of despair.