My work schedule this week has been all over the place - the boss is back from America for three weeks and my lying bitch of a colleague changed the work plan without telling me, so I though bollocks to it, I wasn't expecting to work so I am going off for a hike. That mad with her that when my boss phoned I could have quite easily told him where he could stick his job. However, I am bound by the need for money. C's problem is that I work two days a week at the schwimmbad which she knew at the beginning of the season when we all discussed with the boss about how many days/hours etc. that I would be working. At that time though, I couldn't tell them the exact days but as soon as I knew (after my boss went) C was the first person I told. She seems to have conveniently forgotten this and now I have the blame that I can't work those two days a week because she has no-one to look after her child. The other 5 days I have been entirely flexible and have been able to swap some of the pool day around with my colleague there, but why should he change his days off every week so I told him we would not do that any more and I was sticking to the Tues/Weds to work which he is in agreement with. My colleague at the shop, C, works out her schedule based on her husbands work schedule which varies week to week and he never knows until two days in advance. NOT MY PROBLEM IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE A BABYSITTER when they are both working.
So my boss phoned me yesterday and I have to go in today, so he's either going to sack me or shout at me as C is his favourite and worked for him last year. Won't matter that I have been the only one selling anything. Hopefully he will sack me so I can claim some unemployment, I would rather not sign off sick and would rather put up with the anxiety controlled with tablets, even though I am already shaking at confronting him. He can be a very cross Dutch man. the problem is in these situations I get tongue tied and tearful however many times I rehearse what I want to say in my head then my brain gets fuzzy and the anxiety begins.
I have an appointment next week for a discussion with another Psychiatrist type person about attending a support group - I think it might be a DBT based thing but I am not sure. Anyway, it is all in Swiss/German so I guess I will have to focus and try my best at the lingo. Already looking up words for "pissed off", "World fuck off" and "No, I will never get over it". And if they try any of that challenging crap I'm outta there. Bit nervous about it.