Saturday, 27 August 2011

Tick tock tick tock

Well not much has been happening in the world of me.
I broke down in the Apotheke (chemist) the other day because I discovered that my health insurer didn't pay any of the bills for my medication last year and my original health insurer (whom I am now back with) will not pay for any further medical treatment until I have paid the arrears (which at 200chf a month will take 15 months). So I am screwed and back to the same position I was in two years ago.  I have no money to pay the arrears and no money to pay the 2000chf or so of medical treatment I have had since they refused to pay.  So I have not been able to make another Psych appointment.  Luckily my lovely chemist (she is the owner) will continue to give me medication as she says I must not take a break from it.  And she told me not to cry, it would be OK and she would speak to my social worker.  I have an appointment with social worker next week.
I am still waiting for my unemployment money (been waiting since April) and probably won't get any more from them as I  have not met my targets last month or this month of applying for 10 jobs a month.  Partly my fault because I have given up and partly that there are no jobs to apply for.  I trawl the internet and the local paper but still nothing I can apply for.  I need French apparently.
I have been a bit tearful the last couple of weeks and isolating myself.  I have been hurt and offended by someone who has defriended me on Facebook for the second time - I don't know what I have done wrong.  Ex boyfriend goes from phoning me 4 times a day to no contact whatsoever.  He says he is in a "bad place" at the moment. But he won't accept any help and doesnt believe in meds or psychotherapy.  He also told a friends ex boyfriend that we had split up because I didnt want a job.  Seeing as we split up in February and my unsuccessful job hunting started in April this just doesn't make sense.  I know I should discuss it with him but can't bring myself to do it as I just keep crying about it and he will get all defensive/deny it etc etc and I just don't have the energy to argue.
So feeling lonely and isolated - I have no connection with the people around me, no possibility of moving to the UK until the debts are paid and no wish to remain here at all.

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