I bit the bullet and went and spoke to the managers of one of the hotels, who require an Au pair and help in service. They are really nice and I knew them already so when the conversation got going I wasn't too nervous. Of course, the wage for an au Pair is terrible but at least I would be working and earning my own wage.
At the moment the days are just drifting by. Because of the Seroquel (now on 200mg/day to get me to sleep) I tend to wake up groggy and lay there for ages daydreaming. I feel like I am being really lazy but I am just in a zombie like state most of the time except for bursts of energy every so often. Hence making the effort to write on my blog.
Last night I was really tearful. I really missed my ex and being in the comfort of a relationship. Although I am content with being alone which has proved to myself that I don't need to be in a relationship, I miss the day to day security of having that person there. I am still sleeping with him when the mood takes me but I am very passive about it, it's just emotionless.
So I have focused a bit on research as to the kind of jobs I can apply for in HR when I get back to the UK and am pleased to see I can get something pretty good that earns a decent amount as I have the skills they are looking for. Will start applying around September time as I am not expecting to get something straight away but it would be good to get something before the end of the year.