Friday, 9 October 2009

And then it all goes downhill.....

So lunchtime, J walks in after going to the doctor for three days worth of trapped wind to find he is referred to the hospital with suspected appendicitis. Spent 5 hours waiting while various tests done and me translating for him. He hates hospitals and was not best pleased when they told him the appendix had to go.

J hates a fuss when he is ill and so was insistent it was not a big deal. My insecurities were playing on my mind as everyone who I have loved that's gone to hospital hasn't come back out. Added to this, J couldn't see the point of me hanging around and said I could hang around if i wanted but that I might as well go home. Kick in rejection sensitivity. So while I am hiding being on the verge of tears (after all, J was the one having an operation) doctor "Axel" comes in with the ECG/EKG to say that it was not normal and could indicate a heart problem. Cue J going into denial, thought would be best that I didn't mention it for now.

Dr Axel phoned me after the op to say J was fine, I am 1.5 hours away and one hour before the last train up the mountain is due, wish I had stayed with friend in valley but can't deal with the thought of being with people but am equally lonely. Just me and the cat. And J won't let me pick him up from the hospital tomorrow.

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