Yep, am being sarcastic too.....
...........but no worries, the extermination squad can rest easy, I have no intention of having a child for the following reasons:
1) It is predisposed to depression, something I wouldn't wish on anyone, child or not
2) Has a crazy mother (me)
3) They don't appear to have kidderies i.e. like catteries but for children (well, maybe without the cages) for when I go on holiday. And I really can't face the prospect of a week package holiday at a "family friendly resort with babysitting service" among other teeny tinies covered in ketchup, poo and snot. Don't do nappies either.
4) although I bond well with children (apart from my nephews who are never allowed to stay in the room alone with me for more than 30 seconds so I never have the chance to), I actually quite like handing them back at the end. A 3 hour ski lesson can wipe me out sometimes after being so upbeat and cheerful because I really want them to have fun. I know realistically I couldn't do that 24/7 even though my boyfriend, J, would certainly help.
5) I have no maternal instinct at all. Now people say it will kick in, my older brother seems to think that I am "getting a bit old" to be having kids (!!!!!! I am 34!!!!!!) but really, I have spoken to two of my friends who became pregnant accidentally (one finding out at 5 months) and both said pregnancy was awful and even then until the thing was pushed out were still in denial. That's nine months of my life I can do without. One even said to me that while she wouldn't not want her child, if she could have had an abortion she would have done. And she was 39 when her boy was born.
Isn't it a shame that I feel I have to justify my reasons for not wanting a child. But really, despite what my family want me to do, I am simply not interested. Yep, OK, that could be seen as selfish. But why the hell not? Why can't I be selfish? You only get one life (unless you are Bhuddist which i am definately going to be so that I don't fuck up next time round) so we keep getting told, so why should I spend it working my ass of to be dictated to when I can take my holidays by the school, forking out a small fortune in throwaway toys and clothes and generally falling into the day in day out routine of mundane mortgages, cars and careers. That's why i left the UK - I couldn't do it as an adult ohne kinder so I can't see how I could manage with. I like to pick up a bag and go on holiday to Nepal or Canada or whereever when I like, with whoever I like.
I don't hate children - some members of my family believe that I do. If I did, I wouldn't be teaching them to ski or to swim. I just want to be accepted for who I am, not who people think I should be.