So I spoke to J about my issue with the poisoned dwarf. Verged on the edge of a panic attack but managed to control myself and speak clearly. I did the old "When you....I feel" routine but he still got a bit defensive which tapped on my insecurities hence the near panic attack. I don't want him to change, I don't want him not to be friends with who he wants to be friends with, I just feel he doesn't support me with this issue.
Emotion regulation group starts on Tuesday so it will be a long day, however, I am hoping it will be beneficial to me - I will try anything to "get better".