Friday, 8 July 2011

More sleep

So I tried a night without Seroquel and it didn't work - 4 hours sleep.
Today, I slept in until 4 pm.  I don't know why and as I lay in bed and dreamed about how good life could be, I lost track of time.  And I feel bad about myself.
I have been reading a lot about Buddhism over the last week and really like the philosophy, I just don't know how I can start living it. I have learned there are different schools of thought and I am pretty certain which one I want to follow, but I have lots of questions about it and can't afford to go and see someone to learn to meditate properly and get these questions answered.
Am still trying to control the drinking and have great support from a friend on fb who has been dry for 5 years now.  She enthuses about how she has turned her life around and it really inspires me.  I just wish I had some willpower.

3 comments:

  1. I'm stuggling with willpower too at the moment,
    I read somewhere you have to visualise the end result you want all the time to make yourself really want it badly, I'm gonna try that.

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  2. Good idea. But I am forever wishing that I could get there and never actually doing. I never used to have a problem with willpower which is what makes it so difficult for me to accept.

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  3. I'm in the same boat. I used to have iron discipline as a child before my mental illness got worse it even used to amaze my mother how discplined I was which is why it's been so hard to accept what this thing has done to me.

    One thing I've noticed with me is it gets easier once I make a start. If I say just do this one little thing and I wont ask anymore of you to myself I find that I get momentum and feel like I can do more and end up doing more.

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