This evening I attended the last "lesson" of the interpersonal Skills module at the hospital down in the valley. I am pretty tired because I started work again last Sunday and am working in Ski school outdoors in a job which requires me to think and the DBT is in Swiss German which is quite hard to follow - all this added together makes me even more tired and emotional so I ended up feeling worse after attending the group. I participated and was fine, but on the journey home I started feeling sad and for some reason it popped into my head that I was only born to save my parents marriage, which failed anyway. I have always teased my younger brother that he was the "save the marriage" child, but it makes more sense it was me. Absolutely no idea where this has come from and its completely irrational.
Up until that revelation on the train I had been feeling ....well.....normal. I mean, I felt like I was living a normal day in a normal mood, not ecstatic, not down, just kind of "baseline" I suppose. And it felt good. Maybe this new drugs regime is working.
Going to bed now to cuddle up with my man and my cat. The rest of the village are out looking for a missing 23 year old who rolled out of the local nightclub (drunk) at 3 a.m. and has been missing ever since. Kind of a bad idea when it is minus 10.