Nightmares

Back with a vengeance and about the usual - me chasing someone and them dropping a bombshell on me that I just won't accept.  Woke up at the 3 a.m. slot, crying and feeling distressed.
Really hard to motivate myself today, but I managed to get myself to go to the post office and for a quick cup of tea to see my friend S, who was working, so I give myself a pat on the back for that.  I came home and busied myself with the housework because if I didn't busy myself with something then I would have fallen apart.  I am now curled up on the sofa watching trash TV but feel on edge so have taken my Zyprexa early instead of at bedtime.
I'm a bit peed off with this Zyprexa.  I have put on 12 kilos since taking it and it just won't shift.  And yet the Wellbutrin is meant to make you lose weight, so I thought they would cancel each other out.  The Zyprexa is winning. so I have decided (after my failed attempt at a crash diet this week) that I will go on a detox, then maybe I will stick to it.  This is closely followed by a week's lemonade diet favoured by Beyonce and one of my idols, Cameron Diaz. and they both look amazing.
Just want to get back in shape, particularly as I only have 2 more aerobics classes to teach before the Christmas break and World Cup Ski race in town.  But I will be starting to teach aquarobics so I think I can use the hotel pool where this will be held.
Wish me luck............