Sunday, 6 December 2009

Exercise for the soul

It is said that exercise has a positive effect on those with depression and luckily the ski season has started for me.  I spent all of yesterday on the slopes and felt much better for it.  In fact, I felt almost too good which invetably follows a period of being over-confident, loud, obnoxious and "speaking my mind". I elected to go home rather than to my friend's housewarming party, which is another example of how this illness affects my day to day life.  I knew I would "kick off and cause some shit", recognised the signs this time and knew when to quit. Felt disappointed that there doesn't seem to be a cure for that, just management. Then I get scared that this is my personality, that this is who I am but if that is the case then how come I feel so bad about being like that, feeling out of control, hate myself, have no self respect? Maybe I don't know me at all.

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