Sunday, 20 September 2009

Good day, good night

I have had quite a productive day and am giving myself a pat on the back for effort. The cat is asleep on the sofa next to me (he seems to worry if I haven't gone to bed at the normal time!) and I am multitasking (watching The Island on ITV2+1, seen it at cinema) as well as surfing the net for jobs and people out there.

So I tackled those stupid little jobs that have to be done before you move house, such as emptying random drawer of crap and keeping what needs to be kept, not the junk that has accumulated. J laughs when I do this, he says I just move it to another room - I suppose he is right in a way but at some point there is the last room in the apartment so I will have to tackle it at some point. I have moved house approx. 34 times in my 34 years so am used to it, but find it unsettling too. J is excited about our new apartment, he sees it as a fresh start, a turning point in our relationship as the other apartments we have lived in haven't felt like "home". I'm not mega excited, well I am pleased to be moving and have a new "project" but am already on an efficient moving home drive and getting obsessive about it.

Cat now lying on his back with all four paws in the air - he looks so cute when he sleeps like that. I wish I was a cat, I could certainly sleep enough to have been one in a former life.

I haven't needed my "emergency meds" today - I thought I would about 4 hours ago but I persevered and have got through it, am too tired to think about more than one thing right now, so as I am typing I am distracting myself from the many many churning thoughts.

Wow, I typed that without the churning thoughts breaking through even though I was writing about the churning thoughts. Surreal moment.

I started making a "Happy Book" today, J had a quick look and liked it. Basically, all my hopes, dreams and (happy) real life moments are put in there - like pictures of houses I would like to live in, someone with a flat stomach (thats a dream not a reality), piles of cash, pictures of cats, quotes that cheer me up, song lyrics etc. I got the idea when I was thinking about what I could put in an "Emergency Box" and looked on one of my nutter websites. Some people listed all sorts of things and I have had a burst of creativity. My Psych suggested this a while back as well as some other tasks I have written down and can finish tomorrow (now the printer ink cartridge has arrived) and it gives me another thing to focus on.

Ran out of one of my meds so had to run to the chemist this afternoon and beg my lovely chemist lady to order some more without prescription. Apparently this is kind of normal in Switzerland, but she is very supportive anyway, always asking me how I am and letting me practise my language skills. Today she realised I must have been in a tiz cos I spoke english immediately. She will phone me tomorrow when they arrive (around 10 a.m.). I really need to get organised with them (how many times do I say that?). Anyway, as I ran to the chemist I realised I had short sleeves so the mess I made on my arm last week would be on show to everyone. Shit. Had to come up with an excuse in case anyone asked so I came up with that i had burnt my arm. Crap excuse I know but enough of one to distract whoever was asking.

Can't stop picking at it though.

I hope positive mood lasts. It has to, will be locked up otherwise.

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